When Home Dominates School

A student with a high ACEs score is going to have difficulty. That’s a fact. How we as teachers react to that difficulty is what has the potential to build resilience in a child. What can you do when a student doesn’t care? What can you do when school is the last thing on a student’s mind because they’re too worried about a crisis that’s happening in their homelife?

Before learning can take place, a student has a set of needs to be fulfilled. Maslow ranked two sets of needs that come before self-actualization.

Basic needs
>Physiological needs
>>Food
>>Water
>Safety needs
>>Security
Psychological needs
>Belongingness
>>Relationships
>>Friends
>Esteem
>>Pride
>>Accomplishment

If a student doesn’t have a basis in any of these needs, they will never reach self-actualization. They won’t achieve their full potential, and they won’t have the ability for creativity.

As teachers, we have the most impact in the second set of needs: the psychological. How we interact with our students can do wonders for their feelings of accomplishments and their ability to form relationships. A student with a high ACEs score cannot be expected to perform as well as the honors kids who have had friends and family to show support in their progress. That student can, however, still develop both academically and socially depending on the feedback they get from their work.

Image result for i care

What feedback should be given? There is no single answer. Every student is going to have a different story, but, more importantly, every student has a different response to that story. In her book Fostering Resilient Learners, Kristin Souers emphasizes that educators should not get caught up in what a student’s specific story is, but instead, “the effect of the event to each individual” (Souers 16). Her example of focusing on the story is learning that a student has one parent who is out of the picture. The goal instead is to focus on building the relationship with the remaining parent.

Still, the content is necessary. Souers also says, “The new challenge is to balance that push for academic success with the overwhelming need to provide [a student] with a safe, trustworthy environment with safe, trustworthy adults” who care (Souers 35). Meet the students where they are, and keep pushing for further academic success.

As a teacher, I believe my efforts are best utilized in conversation. I can’t fix a student’s problems. I know that there will always be kids with home issues beyond my control. Asking how a student’s day is going and demonstrating that I care could mean the world to them. It may mean nothing. Regardless, it costs me nothing to put forth the effort. Anything I can do to fulfill the need for relationships or accomplishment is worth trying.

Another concept to keep in mind is that students can fight back. Whether in regard to homework, or even as a reaction to a relationship attempt, students can lash out. Souers’s concept of “cement shoes,” or staying grounded after these incidents, is crucial. Self care, honesty, and not letting students get in your head are key to survival as a teacher.Image result for difficult student

Along these same notes, Scholastic has a list of several tips for calming down and working with more difficult students.
https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/25-sure-fire-strategies-handling-difficult-students/
An interesting post from Cult of Pedagogy writer Jennifer Gonzalez tells her story of moving away from “yelling” at students. After her post, she responds to questions and comments, so what she has to say in different scenarios can be quite useful.

How to Stop Yelling at Your Students

As a teacher, life gets hard. Trying to focus on hundreds of students on a case-by-case basis gets much harder. Ask, listen, and try to understand, but don’t forget about yourself in the process.

7 Comments

  1. Will,
    Great post! I think it’s super important to stop the trope of yelling at students when things go wrong. I would be careful with the phrase, “not let students in your head”, I say this because I believe teaching is student centered and they should dominate how you are day to day and they are not actively trying to mentally deconvolute you, you know? Overall great post!
    -Wyatt

  2. Will, solid post! I like your tweet in particular as I think it’s important to remember that our relationship with students is just that, a relationship. We need to be aware of our own struggles in order to meet them where they are and help them reach the top of that pyramid. I also appreciate that you acknowledged that this is all complicated and that there isn’t one right answer for a situation. Its good to keep some ground rules in mind, but the way we will get better at all of this is to have patience and learn from our students. I hope that will come with experience.

    As de-escalating a situation or resolving chaos seems like an especially relevant skill, do you have any sense of how you’ll try to react to a chaotic situation in your classroom? Do you have any particular memories of a teacher who did a particularly good job in resolving a classroom conflict?

    Thanks for your post,
    Pete

  3. Hi Will!
    I really liked your post! I liked how you tied in the basic needs that people must have in order to be working at their highest potential. I found it interesting how you made sure to mention that although teachers should be making relationships with their students, the content is still important. Also, how you talked about how the teacher’s well-being is still important. What kinds of things would you do in your classroom to help out students with higher ACEs scores?
    Great post!
    Kacey

  4. Hi Will! I really love your post, it’s very well thought out. I never connected Maslow with this content until now, and I really like how you mentioned that there is no one right way to handle student feedback. Great post!

  5. Will, great blog!! I think it is super important that you mentioned Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It supports your point in your first paragraph; why on earth would a students care about school or be able to focus on school if something was going on that took away one of his or her needs at the bottom of the pyramid? I feel that a lot of teachers do not look at struggling students this way. Many assume that students just aren’t trying hard enough and often ignore the source of the issues that are taking place at school as a result of outside issues. Luckily, we have discussed this in our courses and hopefully understand the effects of traumatic childhood events. However, many of the other teachers we will be working with in the future may not feel the same way. I am curious, how would you go about teaching other teachers to view ACEs students from this point of view? I believe that all teachers should understand this, and I feel now that we are knowledgable on the topic, we should teach others.

  6. Will, first I would like to say how informational this blog post was. I loved how you incorporated the psychological and Physiological needs that you incorporated into the post. I loved all of the information that you included into this post. The pictures that you used are spot on as well. I loved how simple and straight to the point your tweet was as well. In the future how do you plan on handling students with an ace score that is high? Great post!

  7. Hello Will,
    I really enjoyed reading your post. This is how I think of it, I think that teachers are a lot like educational social workers. There are a lot of students in the school system that struggle. I was one of them. I feel like asking students how they are doing and how their day is going is one of the best things that you can do as a teacher. I also believe in creating a “safe space” for students to relax. I remember from high school that a lot of teachers allow students to come into class and have lunch with them. That is also awesome and is something that I am thinking about doing. Your statement about the cement shoes is also very important as well. Pick your battles wisely. I am not saying don’t discipline, but be empathetic and realistic on what these students can do, like you said. It will be hard for one of these students to write even a one page paper at times. You could modify your lessons for them. You actually have to. You do not give up on them, but be reasonable in your expectations for them, like you said. I find that your suggestion about asking kids how their day is, is what really helped me in field. It shows you care, and when you show a struggling student that you care, they will most likely respond. It may be in a positive or negative way. I like your tweet about students and taking care of them and yourself. That is really important. I do have a question. As a person who has struggled in the past, how would you communicate to a student that may have suicidal ideation? I have had to deal with that before wit students. What would you do. Have you also considered having items in the classroom that would help calm them down? (pillows, silly putty, fidget toys, etc.) I ask this because it is something that I want to do if I pursue special education as well. Those kids rock!
    Delaina 🙂

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