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Alumni Essay: Breaking Empathic Boundaries

By Sofia Vlahakos (Miami University ’20)

When an institution finds itself on the Westboro Baptist Church’s picketing schedule, its community often does not know how to respond or prepare for the church’s impending demonstration. When adherents of the church arrived at USC in February 2020, over 50 students and faculty gathered to peacefully counter-protest the group. While this is certainly a better approach than, say, throwing hot coffee at them— what if we tried something different? 

What if we actually engaged the Westboro Baptist Church in conversation? 
I spent winter break of 2020 in Topeka, Kansas, doing just that. I was conducting fieldwork as a student research assistant participating in the Empathy and the Religious “Enemy” project, conceptualized and led by Hillel Gray, an assistant professor of teaching in the Comparative Religion department at Miami University, where I was a senior at the time. Every day for almost a week we interviewed members of the Westboro Baptist Church. As part of the project’s now decade-long, and ongoing, research, our goal was to learn everything we could about their lives outside of their religious beliefs. Core to our research approach was listening to what they told us without judgment. 

Before I became part of this research team and before meeting Dr. Gray, my perception of Westboro, like most, was largely shaped by the media. I can remember being a high schooler watching WBC adherents on the news and being baffled by what I perceived as their insensitivity. I wondered how anyone could bring themselves to do the things Westboro was doing. 

In 2018, as a newcomer to the project, I didn’t really know what to expect on my first trip to Topeka. Despite my mental and emotional preparation, I felt very anxious when the time finally came to sit down face-to-face with Jonathan Phelps, one of the church’s eight pastors. 

However, the minute our interview began, Jonathan’s genuine openness and humor made my uneasiness quickly subside. 

Sitting in front of me was a man who society told me—even encouraged me—to hate, and here he was choking up trying to tell us about how he felt knowing his young client may never live out the future she had envisioned. Jonathan was responding emotionally to his work as a juvenile criminal defense attorney. It was clear he truly cares about his work and the impact it has on the people affected. 

I felt for Jonathan, and I felt for his client, as he grew tearful recalling a particularly devastating case. This clear emotional investment in his advocacy efforts struck me because it flies in the face of the widely accepted perception of the Westboro Baptist Church—that its adherents are completely devoid of empathy. 

This perceived contradiction in Jonathan interests me as both a researcher and a fellow human, especially given my own career aspirations in the area of family law. This contradiction has also created some conflict within me as I continuously struggle to integrate my personal understanding of Jonathan and of his emotions with the very real emotional harm the Westboro Baptist Church causes others. 

My involvement in Empathy and the Religious “Enemy” has afforded me this unique, and often challenging, opportunity to investigate empathy in the context of controversial religious groups. With three trips to Topeka now under my belt and hours spent analyzing the interview data collected, I feel confident in the ability of this research approach to understand the humanity and the lived experiences of these “enemies” of society. 

The project defines empathy as emotion-centered understanding, not sympathy or approval of another’s beliefs or actions. Through this process, and in accordance with one of the goals of our project, I have developed an understanding of the importance of nonjudgmental, empathic listening. 

Interestingly enough, these very concepts of understanding and empathic listening were clearly reflected in Jonathan’s own approach to the practice of law. Jonathan has maintained his discipline to these concepts in what is arguably one of the more emotionally taxing environments and areas of law to work in day to day. 

Even a cursory analysis of the project’s research interviews with Jonathan over the past few years reveals his emotional attachment to his clients and their cases. Like a concerned father, he was focused on meeting their immediate needs while keeping an eye on their ability to move forward and have future success. Jonathan is keenly aware of the position of trust he occupies with these minors and the importance of listening to them without imparting judgment. Through empathy, he is able to understand—and takes very seriously—the role he plays in their lives. 

For many of his clients, this may be the first time that someone is actually listening to what they have to say and what they may want for their future.

The way he describes his client interactions reveals that Jonathan possesses the emotional capacity necessary to be an effective advocate; he has the ability to see his clients as people, defined by far more than their case number and alleged offense. This is a critical quality that all juvenile defense attorneys should have and might not—either because they do not possess the ability to empathize sufficiently or this ability has dissipated over the course of time. 

Based on the manner in which Westboro chooses to picket and who/what they speak out against, it might be supposed that they don’t care about people they disagree with and never gave regard for their feelings. From my experience speaking with Jonathan and many of his siblings, who also handle troubling domestic cases, this could not be further from the truth. Regardless of a client’s background or offense or religious affiliation, Jonathan is able to separate himself from his personal beliefs and be an effective advocate. We found this professionalism and consideration for others in the workplace to be true of the other church members we spoke to as well.  

Empathy is a surprising thing to find in a place where most people don’t believe it exists. 

Gaining this understanding of Jonathan not only changed my perception of him as a person, but deepened the personal significance I place on our research project as a whole. Had I not been able to listen to Jonathan with empathy, unable to set aside my own biases and feelings, then it is quite possible I may have only ever been able to achieve a surface-level understanding of him. 

Likewise, Jonathan’s receptiveness through the course of our interviews, even when the topic of discussion made him step out of his comfort zone, has given me much to work with in my effort to deepen my understanding of rapport-building, which is instrumental to this research — and any broader attempt to understand others with whom one might not immediately see eye to eye or find consensus.

Though engaging with empathy is not always easy, it remains essential to our interactions both personally and professionally. The value of understanding where someone is coming from through relationship-building cannot be stressed enough, especially in light of the divisiveness which characterizes the climate of our nation today. It is my hope that by listening to each other and learning how our experiences shape us, we can begin to diminish these divides and solidify the foundation upon which productive, meaningful interactions can occur.

Sofia Vlahakos (Miami University ’20) is in her final year of law school at the University of Houston Law Center in her hometown of Houston, Texas and plans to become a family lawyer when she graduates.  Sofia is a Miami alum who was involved with the Empathy and the Religious “Enemy” Project for three years as a Miami student which included multiple trips to the Westboro Baptist Church. Her experience as a research assistant on the project has played a major role in her decision to pursue a legal career and provide legal services to people of all religious backgrounds and beliefs.

The Westboro Baptist Church and Popular Culture- How the WBC integrates pop culture inside and outside the church

By: Margaret Hamm   

A tweet from Paul McCartney the day after WBC members picketed his concert

      Throughout its history, the Westboro Baptist Church has worked to connect its message with popular culture in multiple different ways. For example, most people who are generally familiar with the Westboro Baptist Church are aware that the church is notorious for its public use of, and frequent attacks on, popular culture through their social media and picketing efforts. However, church members also incorporate popular culture into the internal life of the church community, such as through mention of pop culture figures and events in their sermons. Therefore, although it is clear at first glance that WBC members actively integrate pop culture references into their public messaging, what may not be clear to the casual observer is that pop culture plays a role, although more subtly, in the internal teachings of the Westboro Baptist Church.

      Two of the most common ways that the church publicly connects its teachings to pop culture are through their social media outreach and, perhaps most well-known by observers, their parodies of popular songs. A recent example of this tactic is a video on July 22nd, in which church members took part in the “Keke Challenge”, a viral video challenge in which participants dance to Drake’s “In My Feelings”.  While the content of the challenge is similar to most other “Keke Challenge” videos (i.e. the dancer in the video gets out of a moving car and performs the dance while keeping up with the car), the lyrics featured in the video have been changed to fit the WBC’s message of their praise and love for Jesus, and members featured in the video are holding picket signs as they dance. In a similar vein, the WBC makes a concerted effort to picket many pop culture events, including concerts and funerals of pop culture figures. For example, when the Miami research team visited the church last year, a group of church members picketed a Paul McCartney concert. Notably, these pickets also serve as ways in which the church’s integration of popular culture into their messaging draws more attention to their work. In the case of the picket at the Paul McCartney concert, McCartney posted a photo on his Twitter after the concert of some of the WBC protestors, which, whether he realized it or not, gave the WBC a significant platform.

      The second, much less recognized way in which the Westboro Baptist Church incorporates popular culture into their teachings is through using certain pop culture events or phenomena as main topics and as introduction points for their sermons. Over the past few months, I have been analyzing 630 WBC sermons for our research team. Generally, the sermons focus on analyzing Biblical texts through the lens of the present day, specifically in light of what WBC sees as a corrupt society. However, their familiarity with popular culture also comes through clearly in these sermons.  While this evidence of pop culture fluency has often been true of WBC sermons and American politics (the 2016 election, as well as former President Barack Obama, have been mentioned multiple times in recent years), the trope applies to more lighthearted aspects of pop culture as well. For example, in a recent sermon preached on Sunday, July 22nd, the preacher opened the sermon with a mention of a new show on Netflix, entitled “How It Ends”. He offered a brief summary of the show and consequently used it to connect to the theme of the day’s sermon, “The Drawing of the Jews in the Last Days”.

      Though there may be a misconception that church members do not engage in discourse on present-day politics, technology, and culture, in reality, they do much more than just read the Bible. Most members of the Westboro Baptist Church are highly educated, with many having law and other professional degrees. As a result, many members are well-read and skilled at discussing current events related to American political and social life. In addition, although members do spend a lot of time reading and studying the Bible, they are not limited in their consumption of media to Biblical texts; they watch movies, play video games, and take part in social media. Members of the Westboro Church are well aware of the popular culture trends that are going on in the world around them; in turn, they respond to these phenomena by not only taking part in them but also by altering or interpreting them to further the church’s message.

      Whether this strategy of incorporating pop culture references into their messaging makes the WBC’s argument more or less appealing to others is up for debate. However, at the most elementary level, it is indicative of the fact that the Westboro Baptist Church makes an effort to intertwine its message with popular culture, whether through informal mentions in their sermons or formally through certain topics in their social media messaging.

 

Initial Reflection on WBC – Sofia Vlahakos

Above all, I am grateful that I have been given this unique opportunity to conduct research on the Westboro Baptist Church from a firsthand perspective, especially because I had wanted to go last year and was unable to attend! I am definitely looking forward to the experience and knowledge I will gain through observation and interviews of members.
My interest in Westboro was piqued in my early high school years and since that time I have read and watched a large amount of material regarding the group, so I’m entering with a pretty good idea of what to expect from them. Furthermore, taking REL 101 with Dr. Gray my first year of college prepared me to be able to properly study Westboro by teaching me the importance of maintaining a critical distance. Through this course I also learned how to avoid normative language, which will surely come in handy as I converse with church members.
Although I may feel frustration or anger upon hearing provocative/inflammatory statements during our visit to Topeka, I am not concerned that these potential feelings could manifest themselves visibly or verbally. For the past 3 years I have worked at various law firms and am no stranger to the courtroom. Anyone who has ever worked a hearing or trial knows the importance of maintaining composure despite what is being said by opposing counsel or a witness on the stand, no matter how shocking or infuriating their words may be. Through this courtroom experience I have learned how to be respectful of opinions or values that I may not share. And although it has taken practice, sitting through these trials has also taught me to control my facial expressions.
Overall, I would consider myself to be an inquisitive and quite talkative person. I feel that these qualities will be essential in my effort to have engaging and informative discussions with church members regarding both their beliefs and their lives in general. I plan on journaling each evening of the visit both to vent (as I may be feeling frustrated) and to keep an account of what I have done and learned each day.

Initial Reflection on WBC – Sarah Moore

Having participated in interviews with the Westboro Baptist Church last summer, I am familiar with the type of rhetoric used by the church. As such, I don’t believe that I will have trouble managing my feelings or responsive while on site. Even though I don’t believe in the values of the church, such as their feelings on LGBTQ+ rights, I am willing to listen and consider their perspective on the issue. I believe that there is something valuable in listening to those with which we disagree.

Additionally, I am looking forward to interacting with church members on a more personal basis, as we were able to accomplish last summer. For instance, I had a personal connection with one member of the church, Jonathan Phelps. Jonathan shared a moving story with me about a young girl whom he helped to defend in juvenile court. This girl inspired strong feelings in Jonathan, to the point where he was tearing up. It was a special moment to witness this man feel such a connection to a girl outside of his church community, though the stated values of the church may discourage this type of interaction.

Furthermore, I am excited to learn more about the church members through interviews, especially considering that I am creating my own research project for our visit this summer. I hope to learn more about the interactions between church members and their young children, looking at how children grow and learn within the church. While I understand that this line of research may be greeted with scrutiny or even hostility, especially considering the touchy subject of children leaving the church, I am interested in seeing the type of responses that church members are willing to share with me. Overall, I am very excited to be going back and having the opportunity to work with these individuals again.

Meet Jael (Phelps) Holroyd

Dr. Gray met Jael on his first visit to Topeka, when she was starting out as a nurse.

He first interviewed her parents and brothers (she was not married at the time). She also helped explain the project to other Westboro Baptist interviewees.

In this clip, Dr. Gray asked about whether she experiences any empathy for her patients.

https://youtu.be/Yoh3QmNctEg

You might compare our conversation with what it is like for her when picketing.

Introducing Shirley Phelps-Roper

Meet Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of WBC founder Pastor Fred Phelps Sr. as well as the former spokeswoman for the church. In this video clip, Shirley is responding to a question from a Miami student about how she responds when people leave the church.