Author Archives: derricaj

Concluding Reflections on 2018 Trip

I feel a mix of emotions after this trip, mainly awe, fear, and pain. It brings me joy that I have the empathetic capacity to relate to a group that may seem so different than me. As I was talking with one of my roommates about the trip, she mentioned that coming out and being in the church may not feel all that different. When I, and unfortunately many LGBT-identified folks, had been considering coming out, I was worried that my community would reject me. I felt terrified by the possibility that my family may not accept me.

First, I am awed. Awed that many members of the church may have had similar thoughts, now or if their views happen to expand. This has been apparent in some cases of ex-members, like Nate Phelps, who has spoken about the terror they had in leaving their family, their community, and their home. From what I observed, the members of the church seem like a big loving family. Although, not to entirely discredit that, we were only able to observe members during isolated circumstances and in select environments. In a way, they come out to, whether that be to outsiders regarding their beliefs, in physically leaving the church and separating the group’s beliefs from their own, or in times where they may falter in their faith. I am awed by these potential circumstances, and how they could elicit feelings of fear.

Next, I fear for their future and for their well being as individuals. As we spoke to each interviewee, I thought to myself, “Do you truly believe this deep down? What if Fred Phelps Sr. never founded the church 50 years ago? Would you still be supporting this doctrine and these beliefs?” Several outsiders have integrated into the church, presenting that some do come to believe in the message of the church.

Moving on, though I see them in a different light, as Pedro noted, that does not nullify the pain that many have felt as the church’s messages impacted them. Furthermore, as we came to learn, Child Protective Services have been very investigative of members of the church. This leads me to have fear for the well-being of members of the church. Will there be some significant event that changes the trajectory of the church’s softening? Something that brings back the more offensive messages of Fred Phelps Sr.? Many people do not agree with the message that the church is trying to convey, past or present. Some instances of such vehemence in disagreement have escalated in violence toward the church. As noted in “God Hates,” this may very well reify their perception of the outside world, which is one full of sin. Staying true to what you believe in can be scary, especially when others don’t agree.

Lastly, I feel pain as I wonder what members our own age, and younger children, would be like had they not been born into or taught this. Many members don’t leave Topeka, aside from vacations and pickets. When Shirley broke down on the way to the soldiers funeral, were the tears for our inevitable damnation? Or for the circumstances that members were traveling into? Was she exhibiting fault in her belief or empathy for the fallen? I feel pain for members of the church as it is apparent that many outsiders are not yet willing to show them compassion. From human to human, I believe we all deserve a little kindness. I feel that this is “not their fault, but it is their responsibility.” For example, Noah Phelps-Roper stated that he “wants to become a lawyer because others from this generation haven’t.” He feels responsible… Is he? I don’t think that he should be. Are they being responsible? Will they continue to change? Are they scared to change? Despite all of this, I do feel overly joyous that we could show them compassion, something they don’t appear to be used to and have them be so receptive to it.

Alex’s Reaction to Empathy

During this trip, so far, it has been significantly less challenging to understand the emotions of several members of the Westboro Baptist Church. It also seems that some of the members feel more comfortable sharing their stories with us! While interviewing Kathy and Rebekah, the latter’s passion for Domestic law stuck out to me. Here, I was able to relate to Rebekah’s desire to fight for those who don’t have a louder voice in our society.

Domestic law encompasses many different cases including divorce, child support, domestic violence, employment law, paternity, and many more. As the Phelps’ law firm transitioned from primarily civil rights law to family law, Rebekah didn’t lose the passion to help those who needed it the most. She went on to elaborate upon a particular story in which she had worked to defend clients from a version of Child Protective Services. As she recalled the details, you could see the pain in her eyes, hear it in her tone of voice, and the rhetoric she utilized. She went on to say that “[Because of the peculiar circumstances] They went on to make a life-altering mistake… Separating a screaming [crying] child from their guardians… The only ones to show them love and kindness… These people desperately need help and no one will help them. We’re dealing with peoples’ lives.” Following the unfortunate ruling of this particular case, Rebekah goes on to say that she wrote a 15-page letter to try to overturn the decision.

The specifics of the story reminded me of struggles that both my own family has faced as well as friends in the community in which I grew up. Upon recalling some of my own memories, during the interview, I kept generating thoughts along the lines of “I wish [insert name here] would have had a Rebekah to fight for them then. To fight for them now.” I never met the late Fred Phelps Sr, however, some of his vehement passion certainly lives on through his family, in both their personal and professional lives. With each interview, I believe that we are challenged to pull out and perceive the story of the individual, and not that of the church member. As I go on to further my education in the field and practice of social work, I know that I will have to work through many demanding situations with difficult circumstances. One thing, going into this interview, that I had not anticipated was that I would leave feeling not only better about my passions, but a connection with a member of the Westboro Baptist Church. I want to fight for my clients as passionately as Rebekah does and also be an admirable force in the professional world.

Ben Phelps on using the term “gay”

In this interview from July 2017, Ben generally comes across as somewhat laid back and unchangeable. At one point, when Ben first mentions that “I personally don’t like to use the word gay,” it seemed as if he was going on to say something more empathetic in reference to the LGBT community. Instead, Ben goes on to say that the term gay has “been hijacked,” then continues to support that claim.

His body language during this video clip also supported the way he conveyed his message. At first, he leans towards Dr.Gray, seeming to show some familiarity or trust, as he jokes. Next, he fixates his gaze downward as he speaks and, later, becomes somewhat stern whilst supporting his beliefs about homosexuality. At this point, he seems to make eye contact with someone out of view.

Overall, I don’t believe that this clip necessarily gives a viewer the opportunity to resonate with him on an emotional level. I do believe that this clip challenges the observer in the practice of listening empathetically. It can be difficult to hear out those whose opinions clash with yours, but it can be done!

— Alex

Initial Reflection on WBC – Alex D’Errico-Bronston

Having participated in a week of research last summer, I am not particularly concerned about managing my reactions. Though I personally had visceral reactions to many of their statements and beliefs, I was able to maintain a stoicism about me. Overall, the experience really allowed me to engage with others, who may seem to be a bit difficult, and build a sense of comfort and familiarity.

Looking back, one interview that humanized members of the church for me was with Ben Phelps, who is on the right in the back row of the attached picture below. We had navigated to the topic of the recognizable slogan “God Hates F*gs” and I could feel myself begin to sweat. I became very nervous, as I expected the discussion to be an indirect attack on me and my existence. Although in some ways I felt that it was, Ben seemed to be somewhat respectful in doing so and opened up about his own discomfort with using words that could be perceived as derogatory. I was surprised to see this side of a member of the church, and am grateful to have experienced it.

Looking forward, I have no fears in masking my reactions to various claims made by members of the church. I am a little bit nervous as to whether or not I’ll make a normative claim, but I know with practice, I’ll be able to get back into the swing of things. I’d reiterate what Margaret said, in that if you feel the need to express an opinion that would be normative, do so outside of the premises of the church, the members’ homes, etc. Finally, I’m excited to see interviewees from the last trip, and to get to know the stories of others in the church this time!

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