some highways | like to bleed and the peacock clouds meanwhile | our spines are and as we | tumble in this tumult \u2018til we see | nothing<\/em><\/strong> and still | we\u2019ll swear:<\/p>\n\n\n\n we never saw we\u2019re the patriots of over- and under- \u2260 estimation, of selling each other \u2260 short \u2260 minimizing minorities and our own biases \u2260 \u2018til we excel<\/em> \u2260 in undervaluing the underrepresented \u2260 populations that we \u2260 try to outshine and underappreciate \u2260 \u2018til we \u2260 \u2019ve built walls we can\u2019t tear down \u2260 stuck in prisons of our own cons \u2260 -truction, we erect such \u2260 biased barriers, such \u2260 systemic structures \u2260 which advocate for \u2260 the prolongment of \u2260 america\u2019s radical racism \u2260 \u2014a value we fly as oft as our flag \u2260 \u2018cause here in the good ol\u2019 u.s. of a. \u2260 we harvest our sense of belonging from \u2260 the seeds of our own \u2260 discriminatory acts \u2260 it\u2019s our best kept Abbie Doll <\/em><\/strong>is a Columbus, OH writer with an MFA from Lindenwood University. Her work has been featured in places such as <\/em>Door Is a Jar Magazine, The Journal, and <\/em>3:AM Magazine, and has been nominated for The Best Small Fictions, Best Microfiction, and the Pushcart Prize, as well as longlisted for The Wigleaf Top 50. Connect on socials @AbbieDollWrites.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" the blurring of certainty some highways | like to bleedin the same way | certain landscapeslike to dance | \u2026kinda likehow the universe | loves to b(l)endwhen you set that tab | atop the tongue\u2026and the mirage | of it all | begins | to dissolveand every. single. thing. | that once wasd e l … <\/p>\n
in the same way | certain landscapes
like to dance | \u2026kinda like
how the universe | loves to b(l)end
when you set that tab | atop the tongue\u2026
and the mirage | of it all | begins | to dissolve
and every. single. thing. | that once was
d e l i n e a t e d | melts<\/strong><\/em>
into a pot | of this: acrylic soup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
compile a sky | of things to come,
predicting this\u2014
gorgeous<\/strong><\/em> | aftermath
where we\u2019re all | embodying the shape
of water | with its stunning
twists an\u2019 turns an\u2019
curves an\u2019 bends an\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
heavy<\/strong> with the weight | of memory
drowning down the burden | of momma\u2019s will
cracking. | shifting. | \u2014f r a c t u r i n g .<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
i like | to imagine
the shivery shore | the moment before
the tsunami slaps:
and the water | overtakes
our world | in overwhelm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but wave\u2014
nothing<\/em><\/strong> but ocean | craving totality
that lethal curl | on its way
to reclaim
the roar of the dawn
with its blare of alarm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a hint of destruction | in the forecast;
never saw
a trace of our whimpering | wounded horizon.
\u2014never saw | anything | at all.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nputtin\u2019 the nation in discrimination<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
secret<\/s> right\u00a0 \u2260 (of passage) \u2260 we love <\/em>to discriminate \u2260 gotta outclass \u2260 gotta be the best of the best<\/s> worst \u2260 so long as we \u2260 can continue to fortify \u2260 our borders and \u2260 so long as we \u2260 can keep our groups distinct \u2260 -ly divided \u2260 ensuring a future in which we \u2260 \u2019ve always got someone<\/em> or something <\/em>to contest \u2260 \u2018cause we love to fuel the self \u2260 -limiting belief that \u2260 diversity has this salmon-like way \u2260 of spawning \u2260 controversy.
we\u2019ve got such a billionaire-rich history \u2260 of fostering inequalities \u2260 of warping communities \u2260 with our bigoted disabilities \u2260 weeding out those who refuse \u2260 to fall in line \u2260 so that we \u2260 can continue to cultivate \u2260 the greenest lawn on the block and \u2260 the whitest burb in the city, so \u2260 that we \u2260 can continue to believe \u2260 to diverse is to divide \u2260 \u2014that this misguide \u2260 -d myth of equality must always be \u2260 an impossibility \u2260 in our stuck-in-reverse localities \u2260 where topics like love and sex \u2260 -uality lead<\/s> lean straight \u2260 to hate \u2260 hate speech and hate acts \u2260 hate kills and hate hacks \u2260 hate laws and hate flaws \u2260 where our differences in preferences \u2260 ensure polarization severe enough \u2260 to topple this global superpower<\/s> villain
with a two-timing bigot for president \u2260 with him at the helm \u2260 (again) \u2260 manifest destiny persists \u2260 only now \u2260 our god-given right is \u2260 to worsen and worsen \u2260 straight-up uncle fester\u2019ing \u2260 \u2018cause hate is \u2260 our number-won sports team, our \u2260 number-won talent, our \u2260 number-won export \u2260 societally sanctioned \u2260 encouraged and cheered \u2260 protected <\/em>and \u2260 never, ever jeered \u2260 not when we\u2019re led \u2260 by this chaotic chester cheater \u2260 hellbent on institutionalizing hate \u2260 with mummy musk\u2019s bottom \u2260 -less checkbook.
and what\u2019s worse: \u2260 the number of \u201cus\u201d that fly his flag\u2014 \u2260 when did \u201cwe\u201d learn to love to
(M)(A)r(G)in(A)lize? \u2260 to love to exclude? \u2260 to love to hate? \u2260 to love to contribute to \u2260 the perpetuation of \u2260 our nation\u2019s systemic trauma? \u2260 to love this victim-denying culture? \u2260 to love anything that benefits those visionary few? \u2260 to love the true<\/em> american freedom \u2260 that only comes from being \u2260 culturally reprehensible \u2260 too bad we \u2260 love to ignore and refute \u2260 the things we can\u2019t be bothered to learn \u2260 that which is too diffi-cult to understand \u2260 the truths that hurt<\/em> to know \u2260 god forbid we allow our garden of remorse to grow.
we the sheeple \u2260 we the dull \u2260 we the dumb \u2260 enough to think \u2260 inclusive is a reference to \u2260 our own navel-(gazing) \u2260 bold enough to employ \u201cimplicit\u201d \u2260 as an excuse to get by \u2260 here in the land of scars-and-snipes \u2260 where our patriotic problems are redwoods rooted \u2260 so intertwined and \u2260 weaved, knitted, and stitched into the perpetually bloodstained fabric of home that we \u2260 assume it\u2019s okay \u2260 to exclude \u2260 okay to discriminate \u2260 okay to deny \u2260 okay to polarize \u2260 okay to be racist \u2260 okay to be sexist \u2260 okay to be fascist \u2260 and okay to be self-purported victims \u2260 so long as the narratives we sell \u2260 ourselves and profit from \u2260 continue to self-serve \u2260 and self-soothe \u2260 regardless of the damage done.
we the queer can\u2019t love \u2260 without suffering the wrath of your sins and \u2260 we the women can\u2019t abort \u2260 without being scarlet-lettered and \u2260 we the black can\u2019t live \u2260 without gettin\u2019 killed for walkin\u2019 the streets and \u2260 we the rest can\u2019t so much as advocate \u2260 without raisin\u2019 flags \u2260 that we the ideological \u2260 are on the verge of being purged \u2260 by our own red-white-and-blue \u2260 guards in this \u2260 wholly unnecessary mirror \u2260 -ing of mister master mao.
\u2260 welcome<\/em>. \u2260
to now<\/strong> \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 we brought you here but you\u2019re not welcome here \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 never your<\/em> problem \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 no mirrors here, no sir \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 outsourcing our woes \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 lazy Band-Aid first-aid \u2260 to the nation of \u2260 white-washed his-(s)tory \u2260 and the nation of \u2260 institutionalized brainwashed pride \u2260 in a land where \u2260 we\u2019re taught to treat \u2260 the fabric of the flag \u2260 better than the skin of most \u2260 taught to fear its<\/em> disrespect \u2260 (over our own) \u2260 the land where it don\u2019t take much \u2260 to justify hate \u2260 the land where guns \u2260 are more citizen than \u2260 our own immigrants, despite \u2260 this narrative of our foundation \u2260 that we\u2019ve weaponized over and over again \u2260 that we\u2019ve always been a diverse<\/s> die-first place \u2260 where the notion of \u201cwe\u201d \u2260 will always be \u2260 just beyond \u2260 that distant horizon \u2260 despite our sweet, sweet liberty being literally built upon the labors and lives of others \u2260 discarded like scraps for swine \u2260 \u2018cause we the white<\/s> right \u2260 with our crooked spines \u2260 will outsource just about anything \u2260 give us the cheapest \u2260 the easiest \u2260 the biggest \u2260 the baddest \u2260 whatever lets us further glorify \u2260 this sick, sick system of capitalism \u2260 whatever lets us \u2260 continue to pass the buck \u2260 \u2018cause fuck \u2260 blame will always be \u2260 so much easier than \u2260 the flesh-ripping jaws of accountability \u2260 let\u2019s face it\u2026 \u2260 we\u2019re a nation of finger-pointin’ \u2260 cowards too terrified to \u2260 study the mirror and \u2260 report back on the atrocities we see.
and hey \u2260 the only verse we die by \u2260 is that god-awful pledge of allegiance \u2260 shoved down our elementary-school throats \u2260 those daily chalkboard recitals \u2260 having to act like we\u2019re \u2260 not chock-full of contradictions \u2260 God don\u2019t belong in policy \u2260 but we put Him there anyway \u2260 gave him a seat at the head of the motherfucking table \u2260 and the only thing we ever manage to promote \u2260 is your white-bread, white-collar dad \u2260 \u2014this<\/em> is the promise of america \u2260 -n demo<\/s> plutocracy \u2260 too bad the system\u2019s junkyard busted \u2260 who are we to trust the masses with morality \u2260 when the majority can\u2019t so much as find it in a Where\u2019s Waldo <\/em>\u2260 can\u2019t circle it in a wordsearch \u2260 let alone point it out in a god-damn police lineup \u2260 for fuck\u2019s sake<\/em> \u2260 when we\u2019ve sunk so dangerously low \u2260 that inclusivity is nothing \u2260 \u2014nothing but unwanted \u2260 nothing but an unreciprocated innuendo\u2026 \u2260 an unprecedented cult \u2260 the government will go on \u2260 flogging us and flagging words (like these) \u2260 \u2018cause as i’m sure you know by now: \u2260 we gotta stick our sick colonialist stakes in somethin\u2019<\/em> \u2260 gotta keep makin\u2019 our claims and assertin\u2019 our dominance \u2260 \u2018cause we\u2019re trapped in the clutches of \u2260 our own imperialist history \u2260 still<\/strong> \u2260 suffocating this strange sisyphean loop \u2260 forever endeavoring \u2260 to expand and<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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