By Megan Copenhaver | Creative Writing | Class of 2022
Education Abroad Program: Literary London, Summer 2021
Prize Winner
A woman makes her way down Church Street. The street is bustling with activity, which is to be expected on a warm spring day. She passes by people on their way to Bridge Street to trade in the markets. She clutches her daughter’s hand a little tighter, keeping her close, until they reach their destination.
Susanna makes this trip to New Place daily, bringing along Elizabeth so that her mother can see her only grandchild. She also makes the trip because she oversees the house on her father’s behalf. Her mother despises the trivial tasks of keeping up with the accounting of such a large house.
But Susanna doesn’t mind, in fact, she likes it. It gives her something to do, something to pass the time. It gives her an excuse to get away from the constant callers wanting her husband’s attention. She can’t seem to get a moment of peace before there is another knock on the door. Most of the time, she must tell the poor person that her husband, Dr. Hall, isn’t there, but that he has gone to cure an ailment elsewhere.
Husband. Even though she has been married for almost six years, the word still sounds foreign to her. Sometimes she thinks she’s still just the girl living with her mother and sister instead of the woman living in her own house with her husband and daughter. But her husband is always there next to her, sound asleep at night. She watches his chest as it rises and falls. She can’t sleep unless she sees the signs of his breathing. Once she does, she creeps over to Elizabeth’s room, and watches for the same thing. Ever since her brother died years ago, she has never taken their breathing for granted. Every night she must check, or else her heart doesn’t rest, doesn’t let her rest. And so, the Plague still has its hold on her.
~ ~ ~
Unknown to Susanna, her father makes his way to Stratford from London as she walks to visit her mother, his wife. His business in the theatre industry is highly successful, the playhouses and his many investments are bringing in quite a lot of coin. He has had his fun in London, and sure, he will miss the city, but he also misses Stratford. He misses his hometown, the quiet of country life, especially now that he’s older and not as able to keep up with the excitement of a big city.
Most importantly, William misses his family. He regrets that he missed seeing his daughters grow up as well as the birth of his grandchild. So, he decided to spend his retirement in Stratford, so he wouldn’t miss anything else. It was his chance to make up for all the years he was gone. He only hopes that it will be enough.
~ ~ ~
By the time Susanna enters the house, it’s already mid-day. She looks around the house and is told that her mother is at Hewlands visiting Susanna’s uncle. She’s glad that her mother seems to have taken the day off from her remedies. Her mother’s practice did not bother her as much when she was younger, but now that it’s in direct conflict with her husband’s practice, Susanna secretly despises it. She knows that every person her mother helps is one less person that John does. But her mother does not open the window as much as she used to, in fact, her mother doesn’t do a lot. She hasn’t done a lot since they lost Hamnet.
His death changed the family. There’s always an emptiness that looms around the house, even though it’s not as strong anymore. Time has made the feeling faint, but it has not erased the weight of her brother’s absence.
She finds that grief takes its hold on her at random times when she’s least expecting it. The last time she felt the pang was the other day when she saw a blonde-haired boy run past her, with the same playfulness that reminded her so much of Hamnet. She had to stop and catch her breath, and painfully remind herself that it was not her brother. She would never see her brother again, the cruel consequence of a life taken too soon.
Susanna sits at the desk, opening the book that contains the accounting of the house and her father’s other properties. She doesn’t know how long she sits there, but the sound of the door opening, and Elizabeth’s laughter, makes her pause. Smiling to herself, she makes her way toward the sound, expecting to see her mother and her daughter playing in the doorway.
What she doesn’t expect to see is her father, standing in the doorway, holding his granddaughter. For the moment that she stands unnoticed by the pair, she sees the large smile on her father’s face. She feels many things in this short period of time. She feels joy at seeing her father play with her daughter. She feels anger that he was never around to play with her like that. She wants to hug him now that he is here, and she’s realized how much she missed him. She wants to yell at him for being gone so long.
Before she can decide what to do, her father’s gaze finally lands on her. “My dearest Susanna,” he says softly. She tries to stand tall, but her resolve crumbles as she runs into his arms. In that moment, she’s not a wife, she’s not a mother, she’s a daughter, a little girl again. She doesn’t even try to stop the tears, instead she lets them fall down her cheek and land on her father’s shoulder.
“I have missed you so much,” she whispers.
“I know,” he replies. “I know.”
After a few moments, she breaks the hug and wipes her tears away. “So, Father, you must tell me, how have you been?”
William laughs, and just like that they start talking. The tears are gone, and it’s almost like he never left.
~ ~ ~
Anne walks through the garden on her way home from visiting her brother. The flowers are blooming nicely. She takes in the wonderful scents of lavender and roses as she walks to the house. She can hear laughter from inside the house, unable to be contained by the walls.
Curious, she enters the house and finds her eldest daughter, sitting with Elizabeth on her lap. Her eyes fall on the other figure in the room, her husband, her William. Upon seeing him, she’s surprised and happy, but she also can’t ignore the dreadful feeling that he will not be staying long. She doesn’t know how to tell him how much she misses him when he’s gone and how lonely this big house is. They lock eyes and she can see how London has changed him, he looks older every time he comes home. Life in London has both treated him well and unwell it seems. She looks for what is new about him, as she always notices something different every time he comes home. This time, it’s his new brown doublet.
Susanna notices the intensity in their gazes, and quickly takes a protesting Elizabeth outside to the garden. As soon as they are gone, he’s the first to speak. “Anne, I am staying.”
She says nothing, still quietly observing him, this man that she has not seen in over a year. This man that is her husband.
He touches her elbow gently. “I am not going anywhere.”
His words shock her. He has never seemed to want to live here, with her. She thought he could not resist London’s pull. She has gotten so used to his coming and going that she has abandoned all hopes of him staying. “What do you mean?”
“I bought this house; it would do me good to make it my home.”
~ ~ ~
And make it his home he did. William announces his retirement and moves in with his wife. It took a few weeks, but Anne finally comes to accept that he’s here to stay. At night, she starts to move closer to him, until her back hits his chest and his arm wraps around her waist. They take walks in the garden and around Stratford, they visit Susanna and John and dote on Elizabeth, but most importantly, they talk.
They talk about anything and everything and eventually Anne starts to recognize the man she fell in love with, the man she married. She stops looking over her shoulder to make sure he’s there and stops trying to memorize his face, so she won’t forget what he looks like when he leaves again. Instead, she memorizes his face because she can’t stop looking at him. It was like they were young again, the passion of their youth rekindled as she finds herself falling in love all over again.
~ ~ ~
On a day in late June of 1613, the family is getting ready for their weekly dinner. Susanna and Anne are in the kitchen preparing the stew. Judith and Elizabeth are at the table playing a game. The house is warm with the summer heat and alive with the sounds of life. William is in his study, writing, when the mail is placed on his desk. He decides to take a break, seeing that it’s almost dinner time. He combs through the letters, until he sees one from his friend Richard Burbage. He smiles and opens the letter, making his way to the table.
His smile turns to a frown as he reads the words fire, the Globe, burned down. He collapses into his seat at the table immediately drawing all eyes to him.
“What is it?” asks Anne, concerned.
“There was a fire,” William sighs. “The Globe burned down.”
The table is silent as they all take in the information. Susanna picks up the letter and reads it herself. “Well, no one was hurt.” Her father nods. “And they plan to rebuild quickly.”
“When will you leave?” Anne says, almost in a whisper.
“Pardon?”
“I assume you will leave as soon as possible to help with the rebuild.”
“I will do no such thing.” He stands up. “I told you I was going to stay, and I meant it, Anne.” He pauses as he sits back down. “They can manage without me. I want to stay here with my family.”
A huge smile replaces the frown on Anne’s face. It seems he really is here to stay. “Well then, we better eat this stew before it gets cold.”
~ ~ ~
Susanna sits in the garden, watching Elizabeth play. Suddenly her father is right next to her. “She’s beautiful, you know,” he muses.
“Yes, she is,” Susanna answers with a smile. They watch as Elizabeth studies every rock and plant.
“She is just like you. Curious about everything.” William chuckles. “I remember how you were full of questions, always eager to know more.” He turns to face Susanna. “Which is why I wonder why you never asked about your mother and I.”
“What do you mean?”
“You never noticed the age gap?”
“I did, but I did not question it.”
“It was quite common for an older man to marry a younger woman, but a younger man to marry an older woman was rare.”
“So why did you get married?”
“Oh, for love of course.” William pauses. “And because your mother was pregnant with you.”
Susanna looks at her father, the shock clearly visible on her face. He laughs. “Oh yes, you caused quite the scandal.”
Elizabeth picks up a flower and shows it to them. They both smile as she starts searching for another one to add to her collection.
“But I did not care about the scandal. To me, it meant that I got to marry your mother sooner.” He takes Susanna’s hand. It is silent between them for a moment, but not awkward. “Have you ever heard the story of how you were born?”
“No, I just assumed it was a normal birth.”
William laughs. “It was anything but normal. When she felt the pains, your mother left. Packed a basket and headed to the woods. Did not tell anyone.” Susanna leans in closer in anticipation. “I was worried sick. No one could find her. It was one of the scariest moments in my life.” William shakes his head. “When we finally found her, she had already given birth to you, a healthy baby girl.”
“She gave birth in the woods? With no help from a midwife?” Susanna asks, shocked once again. Her father nods.
“Your mother is strong. Stronger than me,” William states. “And you are strong too, Susanna, and Elizabeth is too.”
“And Judith?” Susanna asks.
“Yes, Judith as well.” He sighs. “She’ll get through it. I knew I could not trust Quiney, his actions prove that. How dare he ruin Judith’s reputation by whoring around with other women.”
“Father!”
“Sorry, sorry. But Judith does not deserve this. Lord knows she has already suffered enough.”
“Yes, but she is strong. She’ll be okay.”
“Yes, she will. All the Shakespeare women are strong, I have no doubt about that.”
~ ~ ~
It’s a rainy spring day in 1616 when the strength of the Shakespeare women is tested once again. Susanna stands by her mother’s side and watches as they bury her father. His death was sudden, as death often is. Even so, the Shakespeare family are no strangers to death. Standing at the foot of his grave, Susanna suddenly remembers the plague that quickly took Hamnet, snatching him from right under their noses. She remembers the makeshift grave they made for him, how it was so small, and he was so young. And so, she thinks, the Shakespeare men are finally reunited. Susanna is glad that her brother gets to spend some time with their father just like she did.
Her mother’s cries bring her back to reality. “He promised he would stay!” Anne wails. Even though it seems impossible, Susanna’s heart breaks again. For her brother who never got to live a full life. For her father who had just come back into her life. For her mother who lost the love of her life.
“But Mother, he did stay. He will always be here, right here.” She points to his grave. “He is not going anywhere.”
~ ~ ~
A man walks down the street. He carries a thick book in his hands. He walks with a purpose, with a very clear destination in mind. He doesn’t stop to chat and doesn’t get distracted. He stops at the front door of the house called New Place in Stratford-upon-Avon. He diligently checks to make sure the address is correct. Satisfied that he found the right place, he carefully wraps the book in cloth and sets it down. Then he knocks on the door and leaves.
~ ~ ~
Susanna is sitting at her father’s desk when Elizabeth, now a teenager, enters carrying a heavy book.
“Someone left this at the door,” Elizabeth says anticipating, and answering, her mother’s question before she even asks it.
“Well, bring it over here.” Together, they place the book on the desk.
Susanna unwraps the cloth and reveals the title of the book: Mr. William Shakespeare’s Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies.
“Is that grandfather?” Elizabeth asks.
Susanna carefully traces her father’s name on the book. “Yes, it is.”
“What is it?”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
Susanna sits down, opens the book, and starts to read.