By Jiaxian Lin | Undeclared Major | Class of 2023
Academic Term of Essay Subject: Summer 2019

Prize Winner

The voice of the rain is getting milder and milder; finally, it softly stops. However, the rain in my heart never ends. When I was young, I thought the day I would become an adult was very far away from me. Now, it is still far away, but in my memory. To decide to leave the home nation and study abroad was not a big deal to me when I was at the age of 16, but it extraordinarily changed my destiny.

Many overseas students would feel hard to get into a new culture. I was in the same situation as well before. I was having struggles with many culture shocks in adapting to American life: different languages and different food. I doubted my decision to come to a strange country which I did not know. For example, when I bought a Coke, I read “To BFF.” I had no idea that BFF was “Best Friends Forever.” I could not understand the sentence: “A metaphor is like a simile.” I knew every single word by itself, but I could not understand what the sentence meant. Luckily, I got through it quickly, because I knew some tips for life. Anyway, this struggling was not the biggest problem for me. As I found the way in a different language, in a different country, I had overcome my fear of adapting to the new environment.

As much as I loved my daily routine in China, I lost this most precious part of my life in coming to the US. Leaving home always means being apart from those people who love me and who I love. It is painful to be in a lonely feeling, especially when I am sick. I miss my family and friends so much, but I know I could not meet them in the next moment. Besides, I guess many international students would have a similar situation, which is breaking up with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Breaking up brought me to suffer deeply because I still love her. I had never thought that the distance would wreck the relationship between us. However, I had to admit that it works.

During day and night, my head was keeping flashing back to the old days she and I owned. The days, when we were together, appeared in my mind time after time, because they were so joyful, happy, blest, disappointing, sad, and painful. The fact that she left was like a needle in my heart, stinging over and over again. Even now, I miss her so much, and it is not for my loneliness. I do feel lonely when I miss her. I feel so alone because I miss her deeply. This feeling makes my day gray and rainy.

To get away from the ache in my heart, I tried reading, playing games, and hanging out with friends. Fortunately, I made some great friends in Miami University. Some of them brought me to the church and prayed for me, which did move me a little bit. Some of them spent their time playing ping pong with me even they did not know how to play. The most important thing was that they cared about me. It warmed my heart because of the feeling that I knew some people loved me.

The rain was still in my heart, and the raindrop used to wash my face ruthlessly. However, I get the umbrella now. I know there will be a rainbow after the heavy rain and the sky will turn to colorful from gray. My life is getting more and more hopeful.